Sometimes, I even have to go to the point of saying, “I don’t want it. I realize it’s important to me, but I cannot control obtaining that in my life. Now, I don’t care anymore if I have it or not. In fact, I’m going to be absolutely happy without it and without any hope of getting it, because hoping to get it is making me nuts—the more I hope and try to get it, the more frustrated I feel because I’m not getting it.”Melody Beattie
I want it so bad I can taste it
Have you wanted something so badly that you were obsessed, but it always felt just out of reach? Sometimes the more we want a very specific outcome, and the more we try to control all the variables to make it happen, the less likely it is to come. It could be that as we hone in on a specific version of the future we want to happen, we also miss more subtle opportunities that come forward, better than we would have planned for ourselves.
Whether with your career, relationships, or health – after we have identified our needs and wants, we also need to go through a process of releasing the attachment to getting them fulfilled.
It seems like the thing a career coach shouldn’t say. But what is interesting is that the moment you let go of the outcome is the moment that change starts to happen. The very act of releasing when it’s time to release changes your energy and mindset, and opens you up to the possibilities that can get you there.
Releasing your attachment to a specific outcome releases the fear that you won’t get it. It also allows you mentally to assess how you can have gratitude the things you do have in your life, and how to create happiness regardless of conditions you can’t control.
Codependent No More
The quote in the beginning is from a book of daily meditations by Melody Beattie focused on helping recovering codependents. Codependents and HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) often share many of the same qualities.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? You can take a quiz here.
Are you codependent? Look out for some of these warning signs.
I’ve learned strategies across a number of self-care and spiritual methods to help codependents, HSPs and those recovering from growing up under patriarchal religions rediscover their inner strength and learn to build boundaries so they can heal themselves. If you want to rediscover yourself as a strong independent person who knows what she wants and is able to make it happen, set up a discovery call to find out how coaching with me can help you get there.